So something in particular has brought on the post you are about to read. It's John Legend's song "You and I". Have you heard it? I think it's wonderful. And so is the clip.
To be honest, though, it made me cry the first time I heard/watched it and it gave me goosebumps. It's so beautiful and it hit me that I used to be like that. I used to check my make up all the time and just hide under it all.
My confidence was non-existent. I didn't really love myself and I didn't respect myself. I tried my best to just blend in and not be noticed. I don't know when, how or why I had such low self-esteem, but I did. For years and years. And then I snapped out of it.
I realised that the relationship I have with myself is probably the most important one ever - once you learn to love yourself, it's a lot easier to love other people. And this is a very very true fact for me, but more on that some other time.
Anyways, I learnt that I have to accept myself the way I am. If I didn't like something, I changed it. If I couldn't change it, I embraced it. I still have my moments of issues with different parts of body or whatever, but I snap out of it. On my own, or with the help of my very own John Legend, or family, or friends :) And I get there.
So whatever you do, don't compare yourself to others, don't punish yourself for not being "perfect" (perfect is very subjective, you know), don't torture yourself, and don't wish you were somebody else - just be yourself. Get to know yourself and be proud of who you are, because let's face it - you are wonderful and if you don't love yourself, it's hard to expect someone else to love you. And everyone deserves love and happiness.
Life is way too short to waste it on hating yourself - and recent events have really shown that. So don't waste another moment hating the way you are, the way you look, the way you think. It's not worth wasting any more time.
So stop hiding - put on a bright lipstick (that was one of the first things I did!) and be confident - fake it till you make it if you have to, but remember that you are amazing! I used to use make up to hide - now I use it because I like it and, hell, I can go without and not bat an eyelid at what someone has to say about it!
Get out of your comfort zone! Get rid of fake friends - they are probably dragging you down! Become the person you want to be. Find happiness in doing things that you truly love. Go for a walk and just think. Stop and smell the roses. Clear your head. Don't waste time on "could have/should have" - keep on going and just do better next time. Don't beat yourself about past - you can't change it. You can make your future brighter though :)
Stick this onto your mirror and practice and practice until you get there:
And just because everyone deserves a bit of John Legend in their life, here it is and think about it - you should love yourself the way you are, and those who deserve to be in your life will love you exactly the way you are too:
I can honestly say that I really love me, can you? You should!
Ms Jelena xx